Quotes and Sayings - 2

Eat quick like a bunny to fill the hopper!

To get to the root of a problem simply extract the tooth.

Wise as an owl or wise ass owl? The choice is yours and I don't give a hoot!

Some people say I’m shellfish but I’m not the only crab.

I’m not about knowing everything about anything nor anything about everything. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I know almost nothing about anything and anything about nothing. One may wrongly infer that I have political aspirations...

Birthdays are a time for us to reflect but probably not in the mirror while clad in our birthday suits! Happy Birthday!

Buck doe for fawn.  or Hart and hind have fawn.

What do a hunter, a pub patron and a panda have in common? They all eat shoot and leave. A pub patron shoots, eats and leaves (darts and dining). A hunter shoots, leaves and eats. A panda eats shoots and leaves.

Sorry, my grammar’s appalling ‘cause she’s past tense just like gramps.

In any contest all entrants are winners: winners and non-winners. 

Went to do something the other day. I wanted to go one way but my brain steered me in the opposite direction and stupidity allowed me to follow.

I’ve decided to pay it forward by offering my new cutting edge course on “EFL: English as a first language.” Mye muther wood bee prowd az a pee caulk!

If celebrating your birthday suits you just fine, party hardy on someone else's dime. And if celebrating in your birthday suit suits you, don't despair, do us all a big favour and Share! With your significant other while we're not there...   

Meteoric rise? Meteoric fall from the skies!

My imaginary friend and I wish to remain synonymous.

Your birthday number is age related! The older you get the number you feel...

Don't accept any Fb friend requests from me. I've got this sick(th) sense of humor.

My pancreas lords it over and above my pantry ass.

I still can't find the recess in the alcove...

I can listen without hearing, talk but say nothing of consequence, look yet fail to recognize and see but not comprehend -  I must be suffering from a case of “the human conditioning.“

Woe is me! Wool is ewe. Wool can’t see. Woe is ewe!

"Prose therapeutic for mind eyes says I."

"If the red, yellow and green apples are all green, which are the green ones?"

Eider duck or jump.

It was my turn to step up to the plate so I stepped up, sat down and ate – piece of cake!

I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed but if so accused I can be as blunt as a sledge hammer.

You’re just a dive away from the hive so please come home to the comb honey.

If all animals could fly and frolic in the sky, one may say "the perpetual forecast is a crappy day."

The critic's voice exposed:  I have likely achieved some of your aspirations, many of which you condescendingly dismiss post haste and I’ve repeatedly fallen well short of your expectations because you are me.

If "It is what it is" - What is it?

I went to the Piano Store to buy some sheet music. They said, "Sheet no!" I said, "You've got to be kidning me." They said, "Try the Organ Store across the street." I went to the Organ Bank and they said, "Sheet no, you must be kidning!" I said, "Not a chance, I’m a healthy liver!"

The rust of our lives are spent seizing to exist...

Some people are inspired by the testimony of other people’s triumph through adversity and how they do so much with so little. 

Perhaps it’s more difficult to do very little with a lot.

If infinity was, then we wouldn’t be, it’s a circle 8 circle not a family tree.

© David Girard 05/05/19